perezzzieeess! vote now.

i'm just a teenager

Hottest Hookup	Biggest Breakup
Selena Gomez and Nic...	Joe Jonas and Taylor...
Favorite Jonas	Breakout Star of the Year
Kevin	Selena Gomez
Baddest Bad Girl	Biggest Scandal
Miley Cyrus	Lindsay Lohan and sa...
Best Dressed	Worst Dressed
Victoria Beckham	Mariah Carey
Hottest Hottie	Cutest Celebuspawn
Robert Pattinson	Violet Affleck
Most Improved	Worst Trainwreck
Britney Spears	Amy Winehouse
Most DVR-worthy Series	Biggest Box Office Blowout
The Office	The Dark Knight
Celeb of the Year
Heath Ledger

Who would you vote for?
Go to PerezHilton.com to vote!

it's mostly just cause i love kevin jonas and voted for everything related to him

Thank you, Jesus.

A new friend of mine reminded me of my past tonight. She told me about how she read my old blogs, and how i have this gift. I told her i was a much different person back then. It is weird to me for someone to read those and think of me now. Who i was then, is not who i am now, but in a way, it is. It was me in the making.

Although it was weird to think that after reading those, my old words, she might think of who i was then as who i am now, it was still kind of neat to see how someone could still appreciate my words, and it is also neat to see how sad i was then, and how much God has worked in my life.

From birth up until my freshman year of high school, fifteen years of life, i had hardly known what it was like to feel pain. I suppose i had gotten hurt in jr. high, but i don't think i felt it as much as i did that first year of high school. It may have been since i had gone to school with the same people since kindergarden, they didn't hurt as much as new people did.

I had been around the same teachings and the same teachers. I always knew Jesus. I knew I was a Christian and I knew there was a God. But I did not know what it was like to really have a relationship with Him.

When I went to high school, only seven people of my childhood joined me, and not really people I was great friends with. I had to meet new people, and I suppose it was odd for me to have to be around people who did not know me for over ten years, and to get them to like me in such a short period of time. This was the thing, i thought it didn't work. I was certain I was not liked, and this was Satan telling me I wasn't good enough.

I had not known what it was like to be truely hurt; I honestly do not remember it as bad as it was that year. It may have been because I was around new people, or just because I was closer than I had ever been before, and I did not want to lose that. The details are not nesseccary.

I was hurt by Jesus; that is what i thought in my head. I was numb. I was depressed. I was shocked and confused. Life was happening to me and I did not know what to do.

Fast forward three years, you have me: here and now. Still crazy, still naive, but changed, nonetheless, in an amazing way, and because of one reason: Jesus loves me.

I did not know what it was like to truely be in a relationship with Jesus Christ. He was someone that I had always known, and to me, I think I thought everyone knew him aswell. I knew there were missionaries and what not, but I really never knew what they were for. I just assumed everyone knew what I knew, and I was wrong.

I went into high school assuming things would be the same as they were in jr. high. We would have Bible class and be bubbled from the real world and bad words, but that was not the case. There were kids from all over the place. I judged them, only because I did not know annything else. I was not used to anything else.

"Alcohol? Drugs? But what about Red Ribbon Week? What about the D.A.R.E officers that came and talked to us? Sex? But what about CHOICES? What about those talks we were given?" My thoughts were confused. I didn't understand. I was shocked. I was scared. I forgot about Jesus, just a little bit, but that was enough.

I was still the girl who never did anything. I never had the mind to. I was tempted, but God protected me in that way. I didn't see it back then.

It has most definatly been a long four years, and it has also been an eventful four. Not as eventful as others, but full of things I supposed would never happen.

It was not until this year that I found a true, beautiful realtionship with Jesus Christ. I was always searching, always hoping, always preparing, but i was never there. I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that He just loves me. There is nothing I can do about it. He just does.

Had someone asked me last year what I would say in the future that high school was like, I would have told them "Terrible." Ask me now, I will tell you "Amazing!" This is why: I will not look back on these past four years and only see broken hearts and lost friendships. I will not think of high school as a time when I just was not cool. When i just did not get along with the right people or fit in with the right group or say or wear or act the right way. I will look back on it and thank Jesus that He loves me as much as He does. I will look back and tell people "It was amazing because it was the time when i first TRUELY got to know Jesus. It was the time when i grew with Him the most." And for that I will forever be thankful; for the pain that I had, for the way I was. For the girl who wrote those silly blogs before. She is here, now, sitting in front of the same computer screen with a differnt mind, and a completely differntly broken heart. A heart that breaks for Jesus, not for boys. Ain't it funny how things work out like that.

Goodnight and goodbye.
The End.
Amen.


(i will revise this when i wake up a bit so hopefully it will make more sense, or have a meaning)