What is love. Don't hurt me.

I love this weather. It is finally fall. I do not remember the last time it was really fall, honestly. Last year was terrible. It was dead hot through December, then freezing when it was supposed to be hot again.

No fun, my friend. No fun at all. But lately it has been almost magical. I have worn my sweater everyday since i got it! 10 cents! Can't beat that. The air is fresh and cold and the sun is shining and it is officially fall and i am in love.

I am going back and forth, writing this and my short story.

Do you ever remember getting a feeling you had never felt before in your life? I remember freshman year the first time i held hand with a boy was the first time my stomach and my heart danced together.

Over the course of my high school career my stomach and my heart have become good friends. It makes sense since they live so close to each other. Today they encountered one of those feelings i will never forget.

I remember the exact day and outfit and place and everything in that joyful feeling of what i was describing above. And today, three years later, i will remember for a long time as well.

I have been jealous before, i remember being jealous, but i had never felt it like i did today. It was terrible. Awful, in fact. I hated it. I said out loud, "I hate this feeling! I want it to go away!"

I even laughed. I laughed because I hated so much and could not control it. It was horrible. I could not even look. I wanted to cry. I had never felt that before in my life. Either that or i have a worse memory than i thought.

I literally (no exaggeration!) felt my heart sink into my stomach and float there, unable to breath. Then moments later i felt it trying to put itself back together. Honest! That is the best way i can describe to you the feeling i felt.

It made me scared. I was trying to get rid of this feeling, or all the feelings i had felt. Nothing will happen. That is where my head is at. But my heart? My heart is still being comforted by my stomach, trying to figure all of this out.

I thought it went away. But i am an idiot of my own brain. I thought it had sunk in or something, you know? Okay, i saw it - the jealousy is done. But it hasn't. I literally felt like i couldn't breath and i hate it. This is stupid.

I am beginning to transfer my thoughts over to my english paper now.

I am a doofus.